


Caught in the Riptide

by aroseandapen



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Asexual Character, Explicit Sexual Content, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Internalized Acephobia, Repression of sexual orientation, asexual miu, partner is unaware of how she feels, unwanted sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:27:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24529855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroseandapen/pseuds/aroseandapen
Summary: "He took her reaction as shyness. Out of the corner of her eye she saw his grin as he dipped his head back down. His lips brushed her jawline, sending an unpleasant shiver down her spine.'I love you,' he murmured, his hot breath unfurling against her skin."Miu's first time with her boyfriend, the love of her life, but something feels fundamentally broken inside of her.
Relationships: Iruma Miu/Original Character(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7
Collections: Banned Together Bingo 2020





	Caught in the Riptide

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fill for my banned together bingo square: afflictions and deformities.
> 
>  **IMPORTANT TO NOTE:** I'm obviously not saying that asexuality is an affliction or deformity, because it's not. That doesn't stop it from feeling like one when you don't have a word for it, and you don't know that it's entirely normal to feel that way when everyone else seems to feel differently from you.

Haru kissed her hungrily, hands pulling on her clothes, devouring her with each action. Miu tried to keep up, but was quickly swept away by the flood that was Haru’s desire. Despite his enthusiasm, she felt none of his eagerness, no sparks that should’ve flown as their lips met, though she was sure she loved him. He pressed forward, she fell back, and the moment she hit the mattress, he broke off the kiss.

His lips glistened, and knowing that it was their mingled saliva made it all the more unappealing. She raised her closed fist up to her mouth, looking away as she fought the urge to wipe her lips on the back of her hand.

He took her reaction as shyness. Out of the corner of her eye she saw his grin as he dipped his head back down. His lips brushed her jawline, sending an unpleasant shiver down her spine.

“I love you,” he murmured, his hot breath unfurling against her skin.

She swallowed. “I love you too,” she whispered, fearing that raising her voice would betray the doubt taking root in her gut.

Haru pulled back. For a brief moment she hoped that he was finished and ready to move onto something else. He dashed that immediately with the intense longing in the gaze he fixed on her. Licking his lips, he ran his hand up and down her side, until just touching her over her clothing was apparently too little, and his fingers crept up under her shirt.

It felt like damp, sweaty tendrils stroking her skin, continuing up until they brushed the underwire of her bra.

He stared uncomfortably long at her ample breasts, a “gift” of an early puberty, his gaze unwavering. If he looked up at her face at all when he spoke, he would have seen the grimace when he asked, “Can I touch you? God, Miu, you’re so gorgeous, I want you so bad.”

By the time he met her eyes, she’d schooled her expression into a neutral tone. Now she forced herself to smile, and answered in a tone that sounded rehearsed. “Yeah, baby, touch me. I love you, Haru.”

She suffered his touch in near silence. He grabbed too hard, making her wince at his inexperienced touch. Later, her skin would be left with tear-shaped bruises from his fingertips pressing into her. Her shirt came off, torn over her head by Haru’s eager hands. Then her skirt soon followed. Haru’s hands explored her body until she was sick of it, and she grabbed up his hands and pulled them up to her chest.

Bemusement flickered behind his dark eyes, and Miu tried to smile. Her difficulty in getting into it must come from her own inexperience as well, she decided. It was something she’d previously wanted to do with him after all, the ultimate culmination of their love. Once she broke past the nerves, then surely the excitement would soon follow.

Just like trying something new to see if she liked it. Yes, exactly like that.

“I think that’s enough foreplay,” she said, a frozen grin on her face.

He didn’t detect her anxiety at all. Nodding eagerly, Haru pushed his pants down, and out came the main event.

 _Ugly_ , she thought, _somehow deformed_ , even though it was a perfectly normal penis. The lump in her throat grew, threatening to choke her. Haru dug a condom out of his wallet, and her fear only increased. That alien _thing_ would be inside her. Hot and pulsating and _invasive_ , it would be in her.

Haru unrolled the condom onto his dick, lining himself up. She clenched when she felt the latex-covered tip rub against her pussy, and silently willed the act to end swiftly.

She felt only a gnawing void in the center of her chest, and the realization that she didn’t want this at all. Afraid that it meant her feelings for Haru all along had been false, she played pretend. She moaned, imagining herself a woman acting for a camera, just a role she had to play. Miu distanced herself from the situation, going numb as Haru thrust into her. Each moment, she wished for the end, and none of the pleasure she’d found before on her own came over her.

The whole act lasted far too long, and at the end she didn’t even feel relief that it was over.

Miu loved him. She knew it, and yet she felt not one thing that she’d read about, seen, heard. And she couldn’t understand the disconnect, where Haru could be so into something that she didn’t feel at all.

Haru fell into bed with her with only minimal cleanup, wiping sweat away with damp towels and discarded the used condom in the bathroom. His arms were suffocating around her as he curled up close. His face nestled into the crook of her neck and she only wanted to crawl away and cover her still-nude body.

Yet she slammed a lid down on those desires, laying perfectly still in his embrace. Even long after Haru appeared to have fallen asleep, Miu lay wide awake, feeling dirty and used despite agreeing to everything. What was wrong with her? Everyone made it seem so easy, so fun, the very thing a loving relationship built up to over time.

So why did it feel so wrong, even with the love of her life.

Miu closed her eyes, but remained unable to sleep. Something was broken, she felt, deep inside her. That was the only explanation she could find. She was messed up, and Haru didn’t deserve a girlfriend who could only pretend while he eagerly devoured her.


End file.
